Couples and Family Therapist

We look not at “him” and “her” separately, but at your partnership as a system. We see how conflict starts, where you lose contact, and what helps you reconnect. The main pillars:

It makes sense to come if you notice: regular “looping” arguments, withdrawal into silence and distance; complaints about “not being heard,” criticism and devaluation; a drop in sexual and emotional intimacy; difficulties agreeing on money, household, parenting; consequences of infidelity or broken trust; conflicts with extended family; the impact of stress (work, health, migration) on the relationship; an “invisible counter” of resentments, growing fatigue and cynicism. Early work prevents patterns from becoming chronic and makes recovery easier.

Stage 1. Initial sessions (2–4 meetings). Relationship history, strengths, pain points. We set 3–5 clear goals: what should become different.

Stage 2. Cycle map. We see what exactly “spins you up”: triggers → reactions → consequences. We learn to stop escalation in time.

Stage 3. New communication and agreements. We practise calm dialogue, clarify expectations and roles, set boundaries and time for closeness.

Stage 4. Consolidation. We check what works, strengthen new habits, and prepare a plan for “hard moments.”

Duration depends on the request and the couple’s pace; we move gradually.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Helps see primary emotions (fear, vulnerability) under secondary ones (anger, criticism), build secure attachment and stable “signals of closeness.”

CBT and Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT). Teach to recognise and challenge unhelpful beliefs (“if he’s silent, he doesn’t love me”), lower reactivity, and develop behavioural alternatives (pauses, requests, joint problem-solving).

Structural family therapy. Resets boundaries and hierarchy (partners = “leader dyad,” the child = “child,” not an ally in the marital conflict).

Narrative and solution-focused approaches. Help step out of the “problem couple” role, find exceptions (“where we do succeed”) and strengthen working micro-practices.

If without jargon — what matters is that it helps:

Chronic conflicts. We identify the stuck pattern (e.g. “criticism ↔ defence/silence”), introduce de-escalation rules, and train new “dances.”

Distance / “roommates.” We restore emotional availability: short daily check-ins, shared experiences, conversations about meaning, not only logistics.

Parenting and household. We rewrite roles and expectations, introduce short “planning meetings,” and divide responsibilities transparently.

Money. We create a safe format to talk about budget and goals, set rules: transparency, limits, “freedom zone.”

Infidelity / trust break. Three-phase protocol: safety and transparency → processing and validating pain → new agreements and reality testing.

Extended family. We set boundaries with relatives and learn to say “no” without war and guilt.

Weeks 1–2. Diagnostics and safety. Cycle map, “triggers and stop-signals,” basic dialogue rules (timer, pauses, no insults).

Weeks 3–4. Communication. “I-messages,” active listening, daily 10-minute “about us” talks.

Weeks 5–6. Agreements. Money/household/parenting — at least 3 concrete new rules, conflict protocol.

Weeks 7–8. Closeness and prevention. Warmth rituals, date plan, weekly “couple council,” 24–72 hour plan for early escalation signs.

Write down 2–3 expectations each and one “small win” you want in 4 weeks; recall existing strengths; define red lines and green lines; agree on rules (no interrupting, speak about yourself, pauses if overwhelmed); choose online/offline and a distraction-free space.

We track by trend over 4–12 weeks, not by “one bad day.”

Different motivation → make goals visible and mutually beneficial, start with small wins.

Shame/fear of vulnerability → safe formats: timer, right to pause, “agreement/disagreement map.”

Risk of retraumatisation → trauma-informed pace: first regulation and safety, then hard topics.

Lack of time → short but regular practices: 10 minutes a day + 60 minutes a week give a systemic effect.

How long does it take? 8–12 sessions for focused tasks, longer for complex histories.

What if one partner is sceptical? Start with agreeing on benefits and boundaries; 1–2 motivational sessions often help.

Does online work? Yes, if confidentiality and tech are okay.

What if we decide to separate? Therapy helps do it carefully (esp. with children), lower trauma and avoid a long “war.”

Do you guarantee the result? Ethical therapy doesn’t guarantee outcomes — we manage the process and effort. Research and practice show a high chance of improvement when both partners are engaged.

I work at the intersection of EFT, CBT/IBCT and systemic therapy. That means: clear session structure, concrete skills and home practices, gentle work with vulnerability and attachment, plus tuning of boundaries and agreements. We set goals and progress metrics in advance, review regularly and adjust if needed. My task is not to be a judge, but to be a facilitator of safe dialogue — where each person has space, voice and room to grow.